“Life is short, make each hair flip count” ~ Actress Yami Gautam

“BOY” STAGE

Until my pre-teenage years, my parents had not bought the idea of my sister and I having long hair. We would religiously go to the barber’s every Saturday, I guess (my memory is failing me). Then on Sunday we would be donned in the then famous Sunday-best outfits;those white dresses worn on top of white-striped stockings and the tuwhite shoes to complement the whole look. Ok, the outfits aren’t the subject of discussion here. The subject is our already stone-shaved heads…ewoo!🙆🏿‍♀ These crowns of ours were really shining, all thanks to our mum for applying a WHOLE mkebe of Vaseline on them😂. Once these crowns stepped out and came into contact with the sun rays on those sunny Sunday mornings, aaah my friend thaaazzzz a mirror right there! Actually, not one but TWO bright mirrors😹🚮.

There are Sundays we opted to wear trousers because why not. If I was to gain a shilling for every time I got questions along the line of “ala, you are a girl? or small BOY what’s your name?”, I’d still be living on that money now, almost a decade later. Of course at that time being asked such a question often offended me because I am a GIRL for crying out loud!😐 But now looking back I realize that at that age the only distinguishing factor between boys and girls is the hair, because it is an age that is way pre-adolescence. You get the gist of it? Since my hair was always clean shaven, I was a “boy” to people who didn’t know me. Well, there are people who ALWAYS mistook me for a 🙄. It goes without saying that I have, on a couple of occasions, mistaken people’s daughters for boys. Anyway irrrriiizzzz whaaarrrriiizzz!

PATIENCE STAGE

I don’t think there’s a point in my life I have been more patient than I was,in this period. A babe was tired of being referred to as a boy and so she had to do what she had to do; talk to her parents. I hope you realize this is the age where you fear your parents more than you respect them(if you weren’t brought up by TYPICAL AFRICAN parents I’m sorry you can’t relate…LOL!) So I had to wait for the perfect moment to broach the subject. The perfect moment is when I would do something that would please them. PS:African parents are HARD to please…aargh!😐

Lady luck smiled on me tho’, twice🤗.

First smile. I think there was an event or an activity in church. Whatever it was, my sister and I did something very excellent (I’m not liking the way I have vague memories of these instances…sigh!) that pleased our Sunday school teacher so much that she went and explained to our parents how we had made her proud. My parents are firm believers of “give credit where it’s due”. Therefore that night we were treated to a dinner at the 4-star rated Three Steers Hotel. Now, you don’t want to ruin such a beautiful moment by bringing up a topic that is not in line with your parents’ opinion of what is best for you. Do you? So lady luck frowned!

I found myself back at the waiting room. This room required patience. It is nothing similar to the Zoom App waiting room where you chill for a few minutes before the host lets you in. So for almost an year, I chilled for the host. The host was the perfect moment, you remember it?

Second smile. This one was broader than its predecessor. We had gone to visit a family friend. My sister and I left for the friend’s house in the afternoon and my parents joined us in the evening. Being the disciplined girls we were, we still are, we helped the friend clear the table and wash the dishes. Little did we know that this friend was greatly pleased by our gesture. She could not help but praise our parents for bringing us up well, for teaching us responsibility at a young age and all that. Need I say that our parents were amazed by us?

Well to cut the long story short, when I talked to them about wanting to grow my hair I was met with “you are not having long hair in our house” kinda remarks. Let’s just say I wasn’t ready for such a blow!

“LUKE 18:1-5” STAGE

Babe was hurt but not about to give up. I kept bringing up the need (read “want”) of me growing my hair. I’d see one of my friends in those colored braids and murmur to myself how pretty they looked in the braids-of course my murmurs were loud enough for my parents to hear. In other instances I would walk up to a classmate in the company of either one of my parents and compliment her on how neat her school cornrows looked.

My efforts paid off and I couldn’t be happier.

UREMBO NI GHARAMA

“Do you as you please”

When this statement comes from your parents you know it’s an “80-20” situation. The 80% being a warning that they won’t help you if your plan hurts you and the 20% being their granting you permission to do as you wish. Again, by parents, I’m referring to typical African parents. So I wasn’t going to let the 80% deny me the chance I had been waiting for.

That’s how I started growing my hair. I hate to say that I actually regretted it. The long hours in the salon and a painful scalp at the end of the day was a bit too much for me. Anytime I told my mum how I was having a severe headache after a visit to the salon, she’d always tell me “urembo ni gharama”.

CONFUSION STAGE

At this point I was tired of having long hair. I didn’t feel comfortable in any hair style I put on. One day I would wake up wanting to have all my hair shaved again and then the next minute I want to keep my hair. It didn’t help to have a father who would keep me telling me “si nilikukanya?” 😂

BACK TO BASICS

I had just joined this prestigious high school in the country. One of those schools your principals lied to you ati we wake up at 0300 hrs to study so you should also do the same🤣. Since I was very determined to make my village people proud at the end of the 4-year course, I decided to shave my hair all in the name of putting my full concentration into my school work. By the way this is a scam. If you are planning on shaving your hair,PLEASE let concentrating on your studies NOT be a reason!

NATURALISTA

Yeah the hair grew again and no I didn’t shave again. It stressed me a whole lot tho’.

I tend to imagine I was busy watching a Nollywood movie and wasn’t about to pause it,when God was giving good hair genes to other girls. Because how else do you explain uneven hair?!? Hair that is twice as long around the hairline than it is at the back.

So in the last 2 years of my high school, when my hair was now long enough to be plaited, I started doing cornrows. I thank God for my schoolmates who would actually spare time to plait others, because they made life way easier in school.

A few months post high school I became a fully fledged naturalista. For only 2 months😅. I got tired with investing so much time on my hair on a daily basis. That is a struggle that is not for everyone.I am everyone!

LOC-KED DOWN

So I “locked down” my hair. I have written about my locs’ journey here and this has been the second best decision I have made, after salvation. I finally have even hair that I don’t have to stress about because it doesn’t need me to have frequent visits to the salon and doesn’t require me to invest time on it every day. The hair that comfortably suits my complexity!

SPICING UP

I do spice up my hair at times just to give it a new look. Therefore as I type this post, I am thinking of how I will style my braids so that I can have just the perfect shot for the IG/FB post that probably brought you here.

~Bible Vibes~

Proverbs 16:31

Gray hair is a crown of splendor;it is attained in the way of righteousness.