A while ago a close friend posted a video of some highschool dudes doing these odi jigs. Considering he’s somebody I can talk to about anything,I told him how much I regretted having led a reserved life in high school. Because I really do😭. Btw nanii we even didn’t finish this conversation 😂.

I was that type that didn’t live and enjoy the present. My school messed up my social life.

You know, being in a national school is not rosy as people would want to assume. That “girl you are in a national school and so you have to get an A” typa mood is always in the air. The intensity is too much even for the teachers who end up pressuring the poor students.

This is where I lost my sanity. And to think I managed to keep my cool for 4 years is just amazing. I feel I achieved so much for someone who was too close to literally running mad.

I’m that babe that will work best under no pressure. Bad news for me 💔. In life you’ll always be under pressure. Little Lena didn’t know that 🤦🏿‍♀.

So this pressure from my teachers and all those motivational speakers really got into me. It got to a point where I started comparing myself to others and this was the worst mistake I made!!!. I remember in form 3 we were having a trip to coast. In my head I was like “bitch you ain’t fit for that trip. Look at you going to ask dad to pay for the trip and you ain’t giving him excellent results like so and so. Sit down and read!!! Trips are not for dumb people like you”. Yaani my mind was made up.I wasn’t going anywhere. However I thank God for my deskmates;Kajuju and Ashley ❤. They made me realize there was more to life than just passing mere papers.

In short, I lived my high school life longing for the day I’d finish school;The day I would wear that green uniform for the last time;The last day I’d pass through that gate as a student;The day I’d start being referred to as an old girl.

Heee form 3 had drama. It is then, kwanza we were about to open for third term, that I decided enough was enough. I cried out to my parents and told them I wasn’t ready to go back to school. I was actually willing to shift to a day school just near home. In my head I knew for sure that I was done with the school that had earned me so much envy among my peers in the past three years. Well ,clearly, my plan didn’t work out 😂.

Now that I’m living my post high school life, I realize I missed so much fun as I was busy longing for “life out there”. It breaks my heart whenever I see phoros of some of my classmates hanging out because I didn’t find the time to form such strong bonds,as they did. But what can I do now??? Nothing!!!Life moves on.

But yo loves. I must admit that I was in the best school south of Sahara and north of Limpompo. It’s just unfortunate that I missed some part of my life in this amazing institution. I’m glad I’ve been able to recover part of those lost years and living the present without worrying about tomorrow because Mathew 6:27 & 34.