Procrastination.

I’ve fought many-well not so many-fights in my life and this one has legit been the toughest. Each time I think I’m winning against it, it comes back stronger and gets me off-guard😭.

So what exactly is procrastination??? Like is it a noun? or an adjective? or a verb? Ok I ain’t here to give you English lessons because I ain’t a tutor 🤣.

For me, it is unnecessarily postponing something.You get my point???

I’m thinking so hard of a better description and addiction is what comes to mind. You know at first you were just trying it out. Let’s assume it didn’t go as you expected, but because you are hope itself, you try it again with the hope of better results. This second time, it works perfectly well for you. I mean you manage to do your 2-month holiday assignment in one night (the means used don’t matter) and record extremely impressive results. Is this not perfect enough? Sooner than you imagine, you are so in love with the thrill that comes with having to do things at the last minute, such that you no longer remember how it feels finishing assignments earlier than the set deadline. By now you are even so proud of your prowess at procrastinating and still managing to do what is expected of you. But with time you realize how much you’ve lost. It is more often than not, a priceless treasure💎.

If asked, I’d quote laziness, a low self-esteem and the ‘can’t be me’ attitude as the most major causes of procrastination. Lemme explain how.

Laziness is almost always mistaken for relaxing. A very thin line separates these two.

For instance, Jess has had a very engaged morning at school. So she decides to watch an episode of ‘Elite’ just to take a break. Most of these episodes end at a moment that leaves you with so much suspense that it is only ok to watch the next episode. Jess watching two episodes instead of one isn’t laziness really. It’s still relaxing, but in the upper quartile;almost crossing the thin line. However, if she ends up watching the series all through the afternoon, we can term that as laziness. And because time is not tied on a pole like a horse, she’ll have to procrastinate what she had scheduled for that afternoon.

This is how laziness works;just X more. Where X is as shown below.

• Just one more episode
• Extending my nap for 15 more minutes won’t hurt
• Lemme reply just this one text
• I’ll snooze my alarm just twice
• And many more.

A low self-esteem is a thread made up of fear, lack of self-belief, perfectionism and too much of “what-if” kinda thoughts.

A little about myself. I have a very low self-esteem. I’ll have a whole plan; A – Z of it. But because of a small loophole-an almost invisible one for that matter-I won’t carry out my plan. I mean what happens if it backfires? Aaai I ain’t an expert in that…

Low self-esteem will have you avoiding stuff you know you should be doing and had planned to do and in the long run you just give up on it.

The can’t be me attitude is intertwined with a low self-esteem.

Normally we say “can’t be me” when we are kind of bragging. Si you know how it’s done😉.

Did you know Nanii says this to mean something totally different??? He’ll use it to mean he can’t be the one contesting for his school’s presidential seat or he can’t be the one spearheading the formation of an environmental club in his neighborhood. Deep down he really wants to but because of the fear of the unknown, he can’t be the one. So Nanii will keep procrastinating on filling in the necessary forms until it is too late and he can no longer contest or someone else forms the environmental club.

Well, in this Earth that God placed us on, there’s always a consequence or more to everything. In this context I’ll highlight not achieving one’s optimum potential, missing out on opportunities and frustration.

Jess ended up watching ‘Elite’ the whole afternoon and failed to do the assignment she’d scheduled to do then. The ‘Strive More’ life of her school schedule becomes overwhelming and she forgets the assignment until an hour to its deadline. Then she doesn’t have time to make concrete research on the assignment and she ends up presenting some mediocre work. Clearly, she won’t have achieved her optimum potential because she ain’t a mediocre student. But this is Earth and we don’t take back time!

On the other hand, Nanii missed an opportunity of becoming the school’s President. You should probably know some of the benefits that come with being a president at his school.

• Free lunches
• A fully furnished office
• Monthly allowances
• Representing the school in many corporate gatherings
• Na zingine mingi.

Dude missed all these simply because it couldn’t be him😐.

After missing out on so many opportunities and getting lower marks than you know you deserve,it’s inevitable that you’ll get frustrated. This is where frustration comes in because you’ll be in a state where you can’t help yourself. You are now in a dark abyss and you don’t know how you’ll escape from it.

I have intentionally not written on how to overcome procrastination because I still haven’t succeeded and I don’t want to be giving ‘deep deep’ tips that haven’t worked for me. I live to fight another day and when I eventually succeed utajua hujui😂!

~Bible Vibes~

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7