Perks Series

PERKS B10

Posted by makenakinoti on

On several occasions I’ve envisioned myself in a few years leaving my fleet of cars in my compound and boarding a matatu just for the thrill of it🤣.

Eeei I love how most of these matatus are driven at very high speeds. I’ve been using public transport in Meru for a while now and every one of those journeys has been a thriller! One minute you are taking in a deep breath because clearly this driver is not about to slow down😏 and the next minute you are wondering “sasa nini ilikuwa ikinishtua hapo???” This has shown me how underrated the blessing of leaving home and getting back, is.

I am a ‘proud’ and impatient girl and I’m not even sorry about that. PSV’s have taught me to be patient. Most times I’ve found myself being the first passenger to board a matatu and wait for like half an hour for it to get full. Kitambo I used to get pissed off by this. With time however, I realised that ‘bitch there’s nothing you can do abourriit therefore hold your horses’. So I will proudly say that the mats have taught me patience😂.

Talk of being a ‘proud’ girl. You’ve ever found yourself in a matatu so squeezed that you can’t move??? Or have you ever sat on that makeshift seat made of wood?? Tell me about it.

I’ve found myself in these situations and I realized there is really no need of giving up my personal space.NONE! Today you won’t find me sitting on that piece of wood or squeezing myself in a vehicle, while there are so many of them out here. The only exemption would be when I’m very desperate, but even then si there is kina Uber🤷🏿‍♀.

Then there are these nganyas for Thika Road and Rongai. These ones have bomb💣 music which is usually played at high volumes.

Then there is the graffiti on most of these nganyas and the disco lighting both inside and outside. Yaani they are just a whole hyped up vibe.

I am a keen reader of the stickers in matatus. Some are hilarious, others have a valid point, there are the informative ones, kuna zenye ni trashy and there are those you can tell were made by a miserable person. Some interesting ones that I’ve seen are;

  • Ungekuwa na haraka ungeenda jana
  • Kupanda ni anywhere, kushuka ni kwa stage
  • Relax, umaskini haitaki makasiriko
  • Hii kazi si rahisi
  • God bless the work of my hands
  • Ujinga ni kupea conductor 500 ama 1000 na fare ni 50 bob
  • Don’t let this be your last ride…(I can’t remember the other part)

Tactics PSV drivers out here are using to bribe the traffic police are on a whole new level🔥. What is that even??? 🤣

There’s the traditional one where the driver will stretch and pretend to be greeting the police.

Then the one where the driver drops the 50-shilling note as he drives right past the road block. THE GUTS!

A lit one I saw the other day was the driver pretending to hold the steering wheel with one hand and ‘rests’ the other one on the car’s roof…unaget??? Then the traffic police will come and ‘rest’ his hand on the roof and bend a little ili they chapa a kashort storo with the driver. In the middle of that storo, business is going on up there.

The one I found to be the G.O.A.T was when the driver fixed the 100 bob somewhere on the door handle(I couldn’t see where exactly because I was inside and this note was fixed outside).WOW. People are so creative😹.

Dear reader, if you want to go to a destination you have no or little idea of where it is, please don’t board a matatu. If you board one, work with your Google Maps and TRUST them.

So this day mum asks me to go see her at Methodist Guest House. Guest House is in Lavington and so I was supposed to alight at some junction just before Valley Arcade and then walk the rest of the distance. I’d visited the guest house about a decade earlier and so I was pretty much sure I’d find my way. Just to be on the safe side, I requested the conductor to drop me at that junction and he was fine with it. My people. I found myself in Kawangware☹️. The conductor was out here saying “pole sistee…nilisahau…” . Never mind that I’d reminded him several times.

This is just one of three occasions that I have trusted these conductors and they ended up dropping me 30km away from my destination. I took long to learn not to trust them wholly and I cannot unlearn that😂 because I have suffered😪.

Happy February❤.

~Bible Vibes~

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mathew 17:20