In the middle of the night I get broken…

The prettiest smiles and loudest laughs most often hide the worst pains…

I bet you’ve come across one of these, if not both…Probably for you,these are just beautifully crafted words. However, for some,these are very weighty statements.

Quick flashback…

Until mid 2014,I was living an extremely awesome life…talk about having a wonderful family…add in the fact that I was in a top national school and was previously in some of these posh primary schools…spice it up with my class work being exemplary…I mean, what else would a 14 year old want???

So now around October we were breaking for half-term 💃🏿 y’all know the hype that comes with the thought of leaving school even if it’s for a one-day funkie😂…And surprisingly enough, my dad picks me on this bright morning…For me, this was quite new…I mean keeping in mind I live close to 300km away from my high school and there wasn’t a parents’ meeting or something of the sort,that was unexpected…hold hold…I remember I had a medical appointment…but still not reason enough…I had gone for several others on my own…

So that weekend, I started a devastating journey that is yet to come to an end…that’s if it ever will…This because we had a lengthy talk with mum and I literally saw my little amazing world crashing…

From then on, I became extremely petty…you know the kind that is annoyed by the tiniest of things??? You’ve heard of people who over-think??? Yeah… I became that…

Over-thinking is one of the worst feelings…you create so much non-existent negativity in your mind just because of a small move made by a friend in their sub-conscious self…

I’ll equate pettiness to selfishness…just because you have friends doesn’t mean their whole life has to be dependent on you…

Dear reader, we don’t over-think and become petty because we want to…at times we just feel too tired to move on.

You reading this and you feel I’m talking to you??? Well, I applaud you for holding on 👏🏿 because you are strong,my love…So try out some of these tips and you could add some more on the comment section😅

1.Pray(Philippians 4:6)…I ain’t so constant in prayer, but I believe the many little prayers I’ve made in faith will bring my journey to an end sooner than I think.

2.Breathe!!!Yo…life is to be lived…avoid situations you’ll find yourself thinking too much…take in a deep breath and take up your territory, as the conqueror you are…it’s never that serious 😎

3.You know the talk of having an extremely small circle of friends???…I feel that is meant for us…Because having a few friends that understand you and you can openly talk about everything with, will cushion you from the loneliness…This is not to say that you shouldn’t make many friends…I always say, friends are precious…

4.Self love ain’t being selfish…girl go get yourself cake and heels👠…boy surprise yourself with a PS and some nyamachoma…after all, who’ll love you if you don’t love yourself???…

5.They always said that music is good for the soul…and now I join them in saying so…I especially like Shinski’s lyrics to the song Free ‘Can I be free??? …Relax and take it easy…You only live once…So live your life

So in the midst of everything, just take some time and BREATHE!!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV

For the records, these are my 0100hrs thoughts 😂😌